By Lyor Dotan, Bilingual Hotline Services Program Manager
I’ve been part of the hotline team throughout my six years at BARCC and I’ve learned so much not only from my incredible team of colleagues but from each volunteer I’ve had the privilege of working with.
As BARCC hotline crisis counselors, we deeply believe in supporting survivors through empowerment. On the hotline, we support folks who have gone through immense pain and trauma by simply being available. We believe that every person is the expert on themselves and therefore they get to decide what path towards healing and justice is meaningful to them. We present options, facilitate decision-making, and offer resources, but never push or make assumptions. The real hard work of healing belongs to the survivor—but no one should have to do that alone, and everyone deserves a support system to help them through that journey. We are a stepping stone in that path.
What I have learned and most love about my particular role is that I get to support and empower our volunteers to be active members of our shared and their own specific communities by being trauma-informed, active listeners, who are adept at crisis de-escalation.
Many of us wonder how best we can be of service. I think many like myself, struggle with the immensity of the world’s problems, and the immensity of the problem of sexual violence. We can be left feeling so small, helpless, and hopeless. This sentiment can feel more acute especially when societal events seem to be at a constant boiling point (I’m looking at you 2020’s). It can leave us feeling like only the “experts,” like professionals, politicians, or great activists can make real change happen.
But the truth is that we are all part of both the problem and the solution. We can all gain the knowledge and experience required to make small differences each day and move the needle towards progress.
I love training new volunteers and seeing them realize that all they needed were some tools and some guidance and, “ta-da!” they too can have difficult conversations and offer support to someone who is struggling. I love being able to encourage each individual’s natural ability for compassion and active listening and see them gain confidence in their abilities to handle situations that previously seemed scary or better left for “someone else.”
I love hearing how folks use what they learn with BARCC to be better friends, family members, community members, and allies.
I love seeing how people go from being afraid of saying the wrong thing, to confidently embracing their own humanity, humbly accepting mistakes, and learning from them.
I love the passion and care that I am lucky to witness.
Our volunteer programs are meaningful not only because of the important support we offer survivors, but also because they allow folks to gain skills and practice active compassion. It allows folks a supported and guided space to interact with what matters most—living their values. At least, it was so for me when I did not know how or where to start.
Survivors, providers, volunteers, helpers and help seekers—these are not static roles, we will all find ourselves at one end or another at different points in our lives.
We are all better off when we are empowered, confident, and supported.
