This is Part 1 of our blog series highlighting the diversity of survivors BARCC serves.
What does a survivor of sexual violence look like? Since the beginning, BARCC services have been available to all survivors regardless of gender. While gender inequality is an important factor in how a survivor experiences sexual violence, anyone can be a survivor, including men.
The cultural myth that men do not experience sexual violence can be incredibly damaging to men who have experienced sexual violence. “It is not widely accepted that men experience sexual violence. . .” says Sharon Imperato, our Project Director of Clinical Training and Technical Assistance. “Because of this belief, men survivors often feel like they are the only one.”
The truth is they are far from alone. In fact, one-third of men will experience physical sexual violence during their lifetime. Men who are survivors call the BARCC hotline, receive our counseling services, and interact with all of our programs. Our Incarcerated Survivor Support Hotline in particular has provided vital support to the many men calling to seek information and resources.
BARCC also offers support groups and workshops specifically for men. For Sharon, “some of the most powerful moments” have been while working with our Men Survivor Groups and watching survivors form connections and let go of shame:
“When a group is starting and the men come into the room for the first time, their heads are down, no eye contact is made, it can be so quiet, like they are carrying something so heavy it takes all of their energy to just be there. Then as the group processes week to week, connections to other men are made, isolation and shame is reduced. Then by the end of the group, the men’s heads are up, they are looking at each other, and laughing…they seem lighter.”
Whether it is in a support group, individual counseling, or while receiving another BARCC service, men are given the space to feel all of their emotions. Jesse Moskowitz, BARCC’s Senior Director of Emergency Services Programs, said one misconception that men often face is that their trauma experiences are fundamentally different from women’s.
In truth, no emotion is more “masculine” or “feminine” than another. Both men and women experience fear, anger, sadness, and more after sexual violence. The difference is in what emotions survivors believe they are allowed to feel. For example, men may find it easier to express anger than sadness or fear. Finding a safe way to express even the most difficult emotions is vital for men on their healing journeys.
If you or a loved one are a survivor looking for emotional support and resources, you are not alone. You can always call BARCC’s 24/7 hotline at 800-841-8371 or send us a chat between 9 a.m.–11 p.m. to receive support and be connected with resources.
