February is often a reminder of love. Although you may readily express love and appreciation to a friend, family member, significant other, or partner, loving yourself may not come as easily. For survivors who are healing after experiencing sexual assault, harassment, or abuse, this can be especially challenging. Coping mechanisms, which are things that we use to get through an emotional moment, can be one or multiple ways to guide the path toward loving yourself.
This month, we asked a few survivors about the coping mechanisms and skills that have worked well for them. Below, we have compiled a list of their recommendations, as well as a journaling prompts for further inspiration.
We also recognize that this list is by no means exhaustive; there is no right or wrong way to cope. We encourage survivors to do whatever they can to take care of themselves in ways that are best for them.
Survivor-recommended ways to cope
- Make a list
- Count all the items in a room of a particular color
- Journal
- Color
- Go for a walk
- Hold ice in your hand. Or throw it in a tub
- Eat candy
- Get a haircut
- Prepare a meal
- Do math problems
- Get tattoos (or draw a tattoo design)
- Work out, exercise
- Meditate for a few minutes
- Practice deep breathing
- Try a container exercise
- Practice mindful counting. Find three things you can see, two things you can touch or feel, and one thing you can hear.
- Pet, cuddle, or play with pets
- Go outside, and get some cold air
- Lay in bed
- Pamper yourself. Paint your nails or get a massage
- Use scented candles or lotions
- Practice a skincare routine
- Buy things you need
- Run water over your hands
- Do makeup
- Try restorative yoga classes in your area
- Read a new book. Survivors have recommended Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body (David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper), which is a short, accessible read and has sections specifically for survivors, therapists, and yoga teachers. Or try The Body Keeps The Score (Bessel van der Kolk), which was also featured on the Ezra Klein Show.
- Listen to calming music, like Healing as a Miracle
Writing Prompts to Help You and Your Significant Other with Coping
Thinking about when to practice coping:
- What are some coping mechanisms that I can use at home?
- What are some coping mechanisms that I can use in public?
Thinking about the intention of coping:
- What are some coping mechanisms that I can use for distraction?
- What are some coping mechanisms that use my five senses or help me stay grounded?
- What are some coping mechanisms that allow me to express my feelings?
Remember, you can always reach out to BARCC for support. For more coping resources, check out virtual survivor support workshops. To request counseling services through BARCC, you can call BARCC’s office line at 800-492-8306 from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday.
