Listen, Act, Acknowledge: Be a Good Bystander

 January is Stalking Awareness Month

A form of harassment displaying unwanted or obsessive attention, stalking can happen to anyone and under a variety of contexts. Due to the rise of social media messaging and texting, reported incidents of online harassment have grown considerably with 41% of people reporting that they have personally experienced some form of online harassment. More and more individuals report that they are facing more severe online abuse such as sexual harassment or stalking.

Like other forms of sexual violence, stalking can be a difficult subject to discuss, especially for survivors who have experienced it. January’s Stalking Awareness Month is a time to reinforce the importance of prevention and how it benefits survivors, loved ones, and communities, by focusing on prevention and social change. BARCC’s Senior Director of Community Outreach and Awareness, Prevention, and Education Services (COAPES), Casey Corcoran, says: “Prevention work is hard work and it takes time. It means equipping people with knowledge and skills, giving them the ability to practice those skills with the ultimate goal of impacting the culture.” 

Significant others, along with members of the broader community, can all support survivors who are experiencing stalking and can also prevent stalking from developing into dangerous situations. It is important to be able to recognize the signs of stalking and know what to do if it becomes a larger issue. It is through awareness and education within our communities that we can hope to end stalking and create safer spaces for everyone.

• Learn and know how to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Healthy relationships are the core of preventing sexual violence, including harassment or stalking. Healthy relationships are built on communication, trust, and healthy boundaries. However, behaviors such as jealousy or possessiveness have often been normalized or ignored as romantic gestures rather than being signs of an unhealthy relationship. Knowing that these behaviors aren’t normal and recognizing them when they happen can be critical in preventing stalking before it happens.
• Check in with your loved ones. Due to shame, feelings of being overwhelmed, or fear of retaliation, not all survivors are able to talk about their experience with stalking. Loved ones can often pick up cues in ways that others can’t. A simple check in can make an enormous difference in these situations. If a loved one discloses that they are receiving unwanted attention, offer support and validation. Use active listening and refrain from asking questions unless it’s okay with the person disclosing this to you.
• Practice being a good bystander. Being a good bystander means recognizing the signs of stalking firsthand. For example, if you’re out with a friend and someone is persistently bothering them, ask yourself what you can do to be helpful in that situation. Can you speak up and distract the person who’s bothering your friend? Or jump in the conversation and lead into a new direction? Is there a person who you could go to, such as a manager, for support? Knowing when to intervene can be critical and can deter a situation from escalating.
• Reach out for support. If the situation feels beyond anyone’s control, it may be time to consult other options. BARCC’s Legal Advocacy program can provide survivors with free and confidential services around what measures can be taken in a situation that involves stalking. Contact BARCC's Legal Advocacy and Immigration Legal Services program or call the main office 617-492-8306 to make an appointment.