Reflections on Self-Care

We asked BARCC staff to share their thoughts on self-care—read some of their reflections below, and then share your own thoughts in the comments!

What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself? 

"I think how often you take care of yourself is as important as how you do self-care. My favorite things are ensuring I have built time into every day for self-care, whether it is waking up 10 minutes earlier for quiet/reflective time (or Candy Crush) or doing some light stretches or yoga while dinner is cooking/homework is getting done or prioritizing walks in nature (or a mall if bad weather). I also love knitting, watching some ASMR vids, or YouTube videos of people helping others." —Anonymous

"I've found myself taking better care of myself when I have a day dedicated to specific tasks. I typically have 'self-care Sundays,' and that's the day of the week that I'll do my laundry, revise my schedule, clean my room, and hopefully squeeze in some yoga! I associate Sundays with self-care and would encourage others to try establishing a routine that works for them." —Erin Curley, Medical Advocacy Intern 

"Trail running with my friends, playing with my kids, and reading for fun!" —Danielle B, Clinical Group and Substance Use Specialist

"Going to the gym. Talking with my friends (particularly with my friends from work because they 'get it.'" —Sharon Imperato, Clinical Innovation Projects and Training Director 

"It's really important for me to take time away to be by myself. I like to leave my phone at home for an hour or so and go out for a walk or bike ride. I know that all the people who need to contact me will still be there in an hour." —Claire (they, them), Bilingual Clinician

"I have five different forms of self-care that I use on a regular basis: reading books, eating some awesome food, going to the gym, talking to my husband, and terrible, cheesy TV shows/movies. When my husband and I were long distance, we created a quick check-in when I was feeling particularly anxious where he would hold up a hand (five fingers for five coping mechanisms), and we would go through the options to see what I could do more of to feel better (he is the ring finger and the gym is the middle finger, for obvious reasons)." —Karen, Events Manager

"As a parent, taking care of myself can be challenging. Often, I am in the position of having to take care of others first. So I have to become creative and build self-care as part of our family life. Over the years I have learned that my commuting time is the best time to decompress and to dedicate just to myself. I can recharge my batteries before getting home. I listen to a lot of audiobooks that are just fun and mindless. I have taught my children that taking time for just myself is important to keep me going; I try to normalize the need to take care of myself when possible. I even have encouraged them to let me know when they need a little break from school or activities." —Katia Santiago-Taylor, Advocacy and Legislative Affairs Manager

"I love anything that will make me laugh—a friend, a TV show, a video on Twitter or saved to my phone. Other favorites include face masks, putting my phone on airplane mode, trying a new recipe, child's pose, and spending an afternoon reading." —Olivia, Clinician

"In the medical advocacy training, we often ask the volunteers what is something that they are going to take out of their self-care routine. Often, I think of self-care as something I 'should' do versus want to do. So lately, my favorite way to take care of myself is to discern what fuels my soul versus what I feel pressured to do and tossing the latter." —Amanda Drapcho, Medical Advocacy Coordinator

What are your thoughts on how people, especially survivors, can approach self-care? 

"With intention and without judgment." —Danielle B, Clinical Group and Substance Use Specialist

"I think self-care can look really different based on what each person needs. Self-care are the practices you can do for yourself that enable you to prioritize yourself in your day to day and don't need to be expensive or out of the ordinary. Taking a mindful warm shower, putting lotion slowly on your hands, or stopping to take 10 deep breaths are easy approaches to prioritizing yourself and your care." —Claire (they, them), Bilingual Clinician

"I find it helpful to approach it with a sense of exploration, flexibility, and self-compassion—our needs and wants are always changing, and that's OK!" —Olivia, Clinician

"Approach self-care almost like you would a bill—it has to be done or there are negative side effects. Time has to be set aside. It has to be a priority. Also, everyone's self-care is different. Do not judge yourself for whatever it is that makes you feel good or at peace. I'm not an exercise person and feel guilt/shame when I hear about how running or hot yoga is so helpful. Find your thing and do it. Judgement free." —Anonymous

"On a few occasions, I have worked with survivors to brainstorm a self-care plan. Taking a moment to think about how you want your next 24 or 48 hours to look and feel like are ways to help make self-care feel less daunting. The more specific you can get, the more feasible those actions will seem and the more likely someone is to practice them." —Erin Curley, Medical Advocacy Intern 

"I think there is a lot of pressure to do self-care in a specific way, but what really matters is doing what feels right to you. If that's yoga or meditation, great! If you're like me and you fall asleep when you meditate, then maybe it's something else. I also think that it is important to let yourself off the hook and not feel guilty about taking care of yourself when you need it. In the beginning, I struggled a lot with the idea that I was wasting time at home watching terrible TV instead of being productive or social. But I've come to realize that I need that time to destress in order to better function in my regular life or else I will burn out and have more anxious/depressed days. So if my wedding thank-you cards weren't sent for six months, well, that's just how it has to be sometimes—I am allowed to relax and take time for myself." —Karen, Events Manager

"Self-care its not something that should be done when needed; it should be part of your everyday life. I think it is important for people to know how important self-care is for you. If the people that surround survivors know how important it is, self-care will be viewed differently and hopefully will be supported by others. Self-care can be a cup of coffee with a friend on your terms, a nap or longer sleep, a good meaningful meal, five meditation minutes. As long as it is something that is done meaningfully to take a few minutes for yourself, it can have a long-lasting impact." —Katia Santiago-Taylor, Advocacy and Legislative Affairs Manager

"Be kind to yourself and remember that you know what is best for you. It’s OK to not listen to the advice of those around you. Often how you take care of yourself may look different than a loved one, and that is OK." —Amanda Drapcho, Medical Advocacy Coordinator

"I have a lot of thoughts! I do feel like many people hear self-care and tune out, it has become a bit of a buzz word without context. I also feel people hear self-care and focus on the negativity of focusing on self and see it as selfish. Self-care is about focusing on what you need to do for you that helps you function in life, work, with friends, etc. It actually allows you to be with others, hence not selfish. I also think that people feel shameful about needing/wanting self-care (for many reasons: not supposed to focus on self or 'I shouldn't be having difficulty so I should not need self-care,' etc). First, stop using words like should and supposed to. Those actually block people's motivation to do things; instead use I want or I need. About shame, I like how Brene Brown says it needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgement. I see this being very parallel to how people feel about doing self-care, so here are some antidotes to shame and to barriers that make self-care hard. Antidote to secrecy: talking to others about what you are feeling actually relieves the stress, and you are no longer holding it by yourself. Antidote to silence: creativity (it's about finding your voice) and expressing yourself in any way that feels comfortable—so find creative ways of expressing yourself (whether it's expressing thoughts or feelings) through art, music, movement, etc. Antidote to judgement: curiosity, so instead of judging what you are feeling/experiencing, be curious about it and ask questions: 'Why do I feel this way? How am I feeling this? What do I want to feel instead? How can I feel that way?' This will hopefully breakdown those barriers to self-care. Lastly, intent is important, to make explicit that what you are doing is about taking care of yourself. If you want to go home and lay on the couch and eat a bag of chips, do it and state your intent: 'I am going to sit on the couch and eat chips, because this is what I need to do right now for myself.' Or 'I am going to read a book, because I want to take a break for awhile.'" —Sharon Imperato, Clinical Innovation Projects and Training Director 

A few more thoughts on self-care

"Even though some basic forms of self-care are necessities, it is OK if you aren't where you want to be in terms of taking care of yourself. Granting yourself that space to not be perfect all the time is in itself a form of self-love!" —Erin Curley, Medical Advocacy Intern 

"It is ever evolving and changing. Define what it means for you and know that there is not a right path toward healing, just your path." —Amanda Drapcho, Medical Advocacy Coordinator

"Self-care is accumulative. The more you do and make a part of your daily routine, the better the effect and outcome." —Anonymous

"I think self-care is sometimes viewed as a privilege that some people can afford and others can't. Probably because self-care is often viewed as a specific sales category (that is also often targeted to a specific gender) or because it requires you to have the spare time (which is not readily available to those working multiple jobs, for example). And that impression of privilege means that self-care can also appear selfish, entitled—for example, avoiding politics to protect your own mental health shows your privilege because you can afford to ignore politics when many can't. I don't really have an answer to this; I just think any discussion of self-care needs to take into account the inequalities and prejudices that are inherent, especially for survivors who really need some form of self-care as part of their healing journey." —Karen, Events Manager