If you’ve been online at all in the last two months, you’ve most likely seen everyone talking about a new show called Heated Rivalry. The Crave original series dropped on HBO in November and immediately hooked audiences from across the globe with powerful storylines and incredibly steamy scenes. But outside of being an impactful representation for the queer community, what truly sets Heated Rivalry apart from other romantic dramas is how thoughtfully it portrays consent between the two main characters.
Consent is the Foundation
Knowing what consent looks like is essential to creating safer, more respectful intimate interactions. It’s very common for movies and television to not include scenes where characters have conversations around sex. What’s more likely to be seen on screen (especially in queer romances that revolve around hiding your sexuality) are lingering stares and touches that eventually explode into passionate moments. That’s why the conversations around intimacy in a show as popular as Heated Rivalry are so important.
Consent in Heated Rivalry is not just a box to be checked once and never mentioned again. When Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have sex for the first time in the second episode, permission is explicitly asked for at almost every turn. Consent in the show isn’t rushed or implied. It’s ongoing. Characters check in with each other. They ask questions. They pay attention to body language and comfort. They show a realistic and healthy version of intimacy, one that acknowledges that desire and communication can (and should) go together. It’s a fantastic representation of Enthusiastic Consent.
What is Enthusiastic Consent?
To understand Enthusiastic Consent, let’s first go over the definition of Consent.
In this context, consent is a mutual agreement to engage in sexual activity. It should always be clear and communicated without pressure, manipulation, or fear. Enthusiastic consent goes a step further.
Enthusiastic consent means seeking out a clear, positive “yes” and not just the absence of “no.” This model encourages partners to look for active participation, mutual excitement, and ongoing check-ins throughout an intimate experience.
Enthusiastic Consent looks like:
- Saying “Yes, I want to” or “I’m into this”
- Smiling, nodding, or engaging in a relaxed and comfortable way
- Checking in with your partner throughout
- Offering reassurance
Enthusiastic Consent does not look like:
- A partner who says “maybe”
- A partner who says “I guess so”
- A partner who says “fine”
- A partner who says “If you’d like”
Heated Rivalry makes it clear that consent isn’t just about the absence of a “no.” It’s about mutual interest and care. Consent can be sexy. And more importantly, it’s required.
The creators of Heated Rivalry were intentional about how they portrayed intimacy, especially given that Shane had never had a sexual experience with a man before his relationship with Ilya. That context matters. Early encounters between the characters emphasize consent and safe sex. In a recent interview with Teen Vogue the show’s creator, Jacob Tierney, was adamant about including depictions of consent and safe sex in the characters’ early encounters.
“Consent was huge for me, and more so, just concern. It’s a huge part of Ilya’s character,” Tierney says. “He may seem like a carefree playboy, but really, he’s a very sensitive and empathetic lover. It just adds to how much we learn about these guys from the sex they have.”
The emphasis on consent was just as present behind the scenes. Intimacy coordinator, Chala Hunter, was hired to choreograph the on-screen intimacy. In a recent interview with ELLE, Hunter said that “[her] goal is always just to ensure that any action that is being performed on the day has been fully consented to by the people involved. It’s about getting as specific as possible as to what is and isn’t going to happen to enable artistic freedom. It’s not about getting in the way of the actor or the director’s collaboration with the actors, but just ensuring that everything is consented to so that we can tell the story efficiently and artistically. It’s a balance.”
Why This Matters
Media plays a powerful role in shaping how we understand the world around us. Representations of relationships, sex, and consent can be incredibly impactful. Seeing intimacy portrayed with care, communication, and respect can be affirming and educational.
By normalizing conversations about consent and desire, Heated Rivalry offers more than just a new fan favorite television show. It provides a model for what healthy intimacy can look like on screen.
