You Don’t Need to Be a Superhero

Being an Active Bystander Online

As we were getting ready for Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we talked with Casey Corcoran, BARCC’s youth sexual violence prevention education director, about how people can be active bystanders online. Read his insights below and don’t miss our free webinar on being an active bystander on April 27! 

This year’s theme for Sexual Assault Awareness Month is “We Can Build Safe Online Spaces.” What does that mean to you? 

A safe online space is one where someone feels that they can express their views and have a presence and be free from harassment and violence.

At BARCC, we talk a lot about how people can take action when they see or hear harmful comments and behavior, what we call bystander intervention. How does that translate to online spaces? 

So many of the skills that we use for bystander intervention offline also translate to online to online spaces. You can still check in with people. You can still chat them. You can still look for body language to see if someone's uncomfortable. It may sometimes take more work to be a bystander online, but it's absolutely possible.

Are there any ways in which online spaces present unique opportunities for bystander actions that we don't have in in-person interactions?

One, we're generally reaching more people. Your sphere of influence expands when you're online. So it's not just the people you see in the day to day, but it might be friends or family who live far away from you who you're now interacting with more. For some, the move to online has increased the accessibility of services, learning opportunities, and building community, so some of us are around more and different people online. And for some people who feel more comfortable online, the medium might make it more possible for them to speak up or take action.

Can you share an example of how someone could take action in an online space? 

Say somebody texts or shares a meme that has a rape joke in it. There are a bunch of different ways that you could approach that. You have an opportunity to call, chat, message, or text that person directly to tell them that was inappropriate, even just saying, “Whoa, that’s not cool.” Or you can talk with other friends who were on that text chain to have them talk to that person. Or another example: you see your friend commented on another friend’s social post and said something about their body that was out of line. You could comment on it directly, and you could also reach out to the friend whose post was commented on to check in on how they’re doing and let them know you’re there for them and don’t agree with that comment.

We try to give people tools that they're comfortable with in that they feel safe using. And there's not one right answer for being a bystander, whether it be online or offline. And it’s not about being perfect or saying one right thing. The only right tool is the one that you feel safe using and you feel comfortable using. If that's delaying and talking to somebody after your meeting or your class or other online interaction rather than addressing it in the moment, that is absolutely OK. Maybe you need some time and space to think about and strategize. Figuring out how you can take action in a way that feels safe for you, while still committing to take some kind of action, is how you're going to be an effective bystander.

And another thing about when you take action as a bystander: it shows the people around you that you care about this issue and you care about survivors. We know that friends and family are usually the first people that a survivor will talk to about the harm done to them, and we know that sexual violence is still happening--so you speaking out when people see harmful behaviors happening or just talking about the issue in general can signal to people who are close to you who may not have disclosed to you that you are someone who will listen and who would be supportive.

How would you explain digital consent and thinking about consent and digital spaces?

Digital consent is similar to giving consent in person: you need to be checking in with the person about their comfort with whatever you're doing. When working with teens, we often get questions like, “Is it true that people like this or that sexually?” I always, always say to them: it depends on the person and the only way you're going to know is if you ask, and if you don't feel comfortable asking, you shouldn't be doing. I think that's the same for in the online space.

It’s been a long, hard year for so many reasons. What are the things that bring you hope in doing this work?

I am hopeful because of the excitement and engagement we have had around our bystander intervention trainings. We just had a one that had over 500 people! People are really looking for the skills and the knowledge and the opportunity to practice. To be an active bystander, it's not about it's not about you putting on a cape and coming in to save the day, it's about each of us doing our own piece of the work. And we create a community of people who are committed to being active bystanders. By all of us doing our part, that’s how we make change. 

Register today for our free webinar on April 27 about being an active bystander.