This weekend was a mess of disappointing news and clips for anti-sexual violence creators.  If you haven't read Meg's blog post about Weiss and Barstool sports, you should definately check it out.  On another note, Fox news featured Liz Trotta in one of the segments to talk about new proposed legislation to allow women in more frontline positions.  Instead the conversation downward spiraled into a conversation about sexual assault in the military, that women should expect to be raped, and that the Department of Defense should be spending its money on the war rather than on responding to the sexual assaults that are occuring. 

This is an extremely disheartening and offensive message to send, both to the troops and society.  Troops, both male and female, deserve to be treated with care and dignity and to have resources if they have been sexually assaulted.  Sexual assault in the military is extremely high for both women and men.  There have been many responses to this segment already.  I would like to direct you to the one composed by Media Matters as they offer a pretty comprehenisive and thoughtful reaction to the segment.

Written by: Stacey

Background: Barstool Sports is a site whose commentary has always included such charming features as “Rate the Latest Sex Scandal Teacher”. Barstool has been hosting blacklight parties at various venues nationally, which they’ve christened “Blackout Parties”.

Upon criticism, David Portnoy, the site’s creator and chief author, who runs the site out of his basement, opined
 

Just to make friends with the feminists I'd like to reiterate that we don't condone rape of any kind at our Blackout Parties in mid January. However if a a chick passes out that's a grey area though.

(NB: Portnoy is doing his readers a serious legal disservice. In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, sexual activity with someone who is incapacitated by drugs or alcohol is rape. So, I suppose the first baby step would be to at least make factually correct rape jokes?)

In response, a group of students and activists have been gathering at events like that hosted by Barstool at the Boston House of Blues to protest the rape-supportive sentiment that frequently finds a home on Barstool and similar websites. It’s also worth noting that, in response, the management and staff of the House of Blues, the Boston Police Department, and the Alcoholic Beverages Control Commission Enforcement Division has made a particular effort to ensure that these are safe events for attendees. 


In an opinion piece in the February 12th Boston Globe, Joanna Weiss speculated as to whether Portnoy was, in fact, visionary for his use of rape jokes to combat people who are serious about making rape jokes. (I believe this is the sort of rhetorical device Audre Lorde had in mind when she said, “The Master’s tools will never dismantle the Master’s house.”)

Let me say, by way of a little explanation, I am the funniest person that most people who know me, personally know. This is not a piece about whether I, or anyone else who’s ever said, “Hey! Rape jokes! Knock it off!”, has a sense of humor, understands the literary definition of satire, or is familiar with or enjoys any of the more notable mid- to late-20th century boundary-pushing comedians.

I say that because typically, the first response to “Hey! Rape jokes! Knock it off!” is an argument about whether they are “funny” or whether the person objecting to them is too sensitive. So, yes, humor is subjective, it’s culturally specific, it’s a product of our time, we can use it as a lens, and it’s good for establishing in-group/out-group identity. I don’t need to expand on this further, just rent The Aristocrats.

In her piece, Weiss cites the humor of Chris Rock and says

“If Chris Rock makes a subversive, knowing joke about race, and some racist finds it funny for the wrong reason, who’s to blame?”

Except that what Weiss misses here is that this is precisely the reason Rock’s contemporary and one of comedy’s greatest satirists, Dave Chappelle, walked away from his phenomenally successful show. As he said in two interviews, one on Oprah and one on Inside the Actors Studio, he could discern the difference between people laughing with jokes about race, and people laughing at jokes about race, and there were several incidents where his audiences had shifted to laughing at those jokes, which made Chappelle profoundly uncomfortable.

Which leads us to the second most common response to, “Hey! Rape jokes! Knock it off”: “Well, I’m not raping anyone, so what difference does it make if I make rape jokes?” and the corollary, “So, if I make a rape joke, it’s going to cause somebody to go out and rape someone?”

Let’s work through this cause/effect argument to talk about the role of rape jokes. Jokes, like alcohol, are not magical spells that cause people whose behavior has never been inappropriate nor who have any inclination toward being abusive or inappropriate to become so. But here are some things we know about risk factors for sexual violence perpetration: many men who offend have

• coercive sexual fantasies
• a preference for impersonal sex
• hypermasculinity traits (that is, valuing the exaggeration of stereotypically “male” behavior)
• a tendency to wrongly interpret neutral attention from women as a sign of sexual interest and negative responses from women as aggressive or hostile
• relationships with sexually aggressive peers who support these ideas
• communities with a general tolerance for sexual violence
• communities with weak community sanctions against people who perpetrate sexual violence

We also know that individuals who sexually offend are both very good evaluators of their social group and the environment around them, and look for cues from those social groups and environments for reinforcement and validation of their thought errors and boundary-crossing behavior.

So, an individual who has many risk factors around sexual aggression might crack a rape joke and go, “AmIright?” Now what do the others around that person do? Do they laugh, and add their own? Does someone flag their behavior as inappropriate and ask them not to do that anymore? Environments matter.

Think back to your middle school cafeteria: how did you figure out what clothes to wear, what music to listen to, what shows to watch? You watched other people who mattered to you and what they did. Whether you wanted to be a part of the larger culture or countercultural, it still mattered what other people did and said, and how they behaved.

That’s why it’s not enough to throw up your hands and say, “Well, I’m not raping people, so what difference does it make if I make rape jokes!” If you’re not saying outright that sexually abusive behavior is not OK in your circle, well, then...you’re not saying it.

Come, do some inferring with me.

All of us know someone who is a survivor of sexual violence. According to the latest data from the CDC almost 2/3 of women (62.9%) and almost 1/4 of men (23.6%) have experienced some type of sexual violence in their lifetime.

The majority of survivors are sexually abused or assaulted by someone they know. This is true across all age groups and demographics, but is especially true of children, adolescents, and folks in a college setting (and elders and folks with disabilities, but for the sake of this piece, I’m not certain they are the target market of either Barstool Sports or blacklight parties.)

Thus, it is more likely than not that we also know someone who has been sexually abusive or inappropriate.

In talking about why it’s unacceptable for people around me to make rape jokes, I used to say, “Well, even though I know that none of my friends would hurt anyone, I don’t know who’s listening to our conversation and how they’re using that to gauge what’s acceptable.”

I stopped saying the first part, though, about my friends, not because I have concerns about their behavior at this time, but because I was guilty of exactly what Joanna Weiss, David Portnoy, and anyone else who makes or is an apologist for rape jokes is guilty of : abdicating my responsibility for creating a safe, fun environment by thinking, “This is the awesome table in the middle school cafeteria of life! Everybody here is just like me and really gets it! Those sexually aggressive folks are someplace else!” If we are going to accept the reality of the data and the truth of others’ lived experience, then we can’t keep waiting for someone else to do something about their friends and family with problem behaviors. We are the someone else. Those are our friends and family.

Somehow, what has really become twisted in all this, is that communities who celebrate jokes built on violence, lack of safety, and the pain and degradation of others have been allowed to claim the mantle of “fun”, while communities who say, “We love having fun, socializing, dancing, interacting with other people, and yes, sex...and also rape isn’t funny or cool! You are welcome here, but check that rape garbage at the door” are, at best, characterized as the wet blanket. 


No. No more of that. I, you, our communities, this city, have no need of a cleverer rape joke. I’m taking “fun” back. That is the social change we need to see here.

In a recent interview between CNN’s Piers Morgan and Republican presidential candidate, Ron Paul, the following exchange took place:

MORGAN: You have two daughters. You have many granddaughters. If one of them was raped -- and I accept it's a very unlikely thing to happen -- but if they were, would you honestly look at them in the eye and say they had to have that child if they were impregnated?
PAUL: No. If it's an honest rape, that individual should go immediately to the emergency room. I would give them a shot of estrogen...

While the interview questions were focusing on the issue of abortion rather than rape specifically, the belief of such a think as an ‘honest rape’ is extremely problematic.  What differences exist for Paul between an ‘honest rape’ and a dishonest rape’?  It creates the perception that there are some rapes that are more real than others.  This belief pops up frequently within the media as victims are blamed or sexually violent acts are minimized.

There is a common misperception that rape is only legitimate if it is committed by a stranger or if it involved a weapon or excessive force.  This is repeatedly shown in SVU and other similar crime shows.  News sources will focus on the more sensational stories in order to hook viewers.  It’s important to keep in mind that the goals of these shows (both news and fiction) is to attract viewers which increases profit.  Therefore, they are not motivated to accurately represent how sexual violence is perpetrated and the trials and barriers that survivors face. 

These egregious misrepresentations can be observed outside of the media as well.  The FBI, until recently, only recognized rape when it was forcibly committed by a man against a woman.  While many states have adopted a broader definition and recognize rape occurs in many forms, these are not represented in the annual UCR report.  This definition recognized 84,000 survivors of rape in 2010.  This discounted thousands of rapes that were reported which did not fit under the narrow definition and heavily contrasted with the results of the National Crime Victimization Study which stated that there are almost 208,000 survivors each year!

According to multiple studies over the past few decades, including the most recent by the CDC, the overwhelming majority (70-80%) of sexual assaults and rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim.  This number increases when you look at specific vulnerable populations such as children, colleges, people with disabilities, or the elderly.  These perpetrators can be intimate partners, friends, family members, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors, teachers, or a whole variety of other people that we interact with on each and every day. 

People believe that they can trust people in positions of power, authority, and knowledge to give accurate information.  Fact-checking can be long and tedious and why shouldn't we be able to trust an expert?  In the latter part of Paul’s sentence, he advises that a woman can get a shot of estrogen to prevent pregnancy.  Paul is an OB/GYN so why should people question the information that he gives about reproductive health?  In fact, there is NO estrogen shot that is given to women to prevent pregnancy.  There are two forms of emergency contraceptive used in the US - Ella and Plan B - both of which are pills that are taken orally.  However, if you browse the comments section many people reference the ‘shot of estrogen’ that Paul mentions.  Additionally, very few news sources point out the fallacy of this sentence.  Inaccuracies in our media impacts our knowledge and what we believe.

The belief and constant portrayal that there is an ‘honest rape’ has real repercussions on survivors and society.  First, many survivors may believe that since they were raped or assaulted by someone they know that it doesn’t count.  They may blame themselves for not yelling loud enough or fighting hard enough.  They could compare their rape to those that they see on the TV and downplay what happened by thinking that at least there was no weapon or at least there wasn’t any serious injuries.  They could be reluctant to get medical care or make a report because of the lack of physical injuries.  Even those who do reach out, are likely to doubt the validity of their case because of how it doesn’t match what they’ve seen on TV, learned about how rape should look, or the belief that their own actions may have brought on the assault.  This leaves many survivors without the resources and support we need.

Written by: Stacey

**Trigger warning - the link below contains a description of a rape that may be triggering. Read with caution.

In the New York Times last week there was a very brave article entitled "Defriending My Rapist." You can and should read the article for yourself at the Opinionator, but the gist of it is this: at the age of thirteen, the author was brutally raped by four boys from her school. Thirty-eight years later, Facebook recommends she friend one of her rapists (the ringleader). Prodded on by curiosity, she does. To find out more about her reactions to this uniquely 21st century situation, I highly recommend you read the entire piece - I will not be able to do it justice here. Suffice it to say, it is a very insightful piece, and particularly instructive for those of us who respond to rape disclosures. The writer, like many young women, blames herself for her own rape: for wearing a low-cut top, for acting more confident than she felt - "With a child’s logic," she says, "I figured the boys thought I wasn’t a virgin because of my sexy shirt." You can hear the subtle chiding in her voice toward her childhood self, for this lapse in logic, this capitulation to rape culture and victim-blaming. Yet later, when she confronts her rapist via a private Facebook message she repeats a similar theme: "I hope that night has haunted you. I was naïve and a virgin." Even after years of therapy, this woman still feels compelled to point out to her rapists that she was not "experienced," that in fact she was a virgin, in effort to convey to him the seriousness of his crime. That our culture of victim-blaming is so pervasive that even survivors themselves fall victim to it should give us all pause. This is a young woman who was held down and raped by four men. She was a virgin. She screamed.  She was the textbook definition of everything a society thinks of as a "acceptable" victim of rape (you know, aside from the low-cut sparkly top and the fact that she drank some rum), and yet she still blamed herself because she was wearing a shirt that might have made them assume she wasn't a virgin. Indeed, years later, she uses the fact that she was a virgin to emphasize the severity of the crime to her own rapist.

At thirteen years old, this young woman had been exposed to enough of rape culture to think that she had asked for it (and who can blame her, when so many people's reaction would have been to make note of what she was wearing, of whether or not she had been drinking). She knew enough to not want to tell anyone, because she thought she would be shunned at school (and who can blame her, when so many people's reaction is to say "are you sure you want to ruin those boys' lives by accusing them of rape?"). After thirty-eight years, this woman was brave enough to not only confront her rapist but to write about it for the New York Times. But how many more men and women, young and old, may be suffering in silence under these same assumptions?

Stories like these emphasize the need for programs like BARCC's Community Awareness and Prevention Services program. It is not enough for us to respond to disclosures with empathy and compassion, to help men and women who have been raped or assaulted regain control by empowering them to make decisions regarding their own physical and mental health, to provide them with access to valuable services to help them recover and heal. We must also attack the root of the problem: rapists, and a culture that is permissible of rape. We can see from this story (and from articles like this) that the lessons of victim-blaming are learned young, which means we need to start even younger to combat them. Until we as a community rise up against rapists and not their victims, against the crime of rape and not the circumstances under which it occurs, we all but ensure that terrible stories like this continue to happen. If as CAPS volunteers we can empower one young person to stand up to their friends when they are making rape jokes, or to question the messages they are receiving from their peers and the media, or to intervene when they see someone being targeted or harassed, then we will have done our jobs. If enough individuals stand up against rape culture, we can produce a domino effect to someday ensure that crimes like this do not go unpunished, or at least to make sure that the survivors of these crimes do not feel alone or at fault. No one should have to wait thirty-eight years for that kind of validation.

One more note - social networking tools are making encounters like these far more frequent than anytime B.F. (Before Facebook). Sometimes these encounters can turn out to be ultimately empowering, as in the article above. Other times, particularly for those who do not have the benefit of a solid support system, they can simply be triggering and harmful to the emotional well-being of the survivor. How can we be more attuned to these kinds of encounters happening among our family and friends, and supportive and empowering of someone who might be going through something similar to the author (it happens more often than you'd think!)?

Written by: Alison, a CAPS volunteer

It is Girl Scout Cookie time! Countless people, myself included, count down to this season so that we can get our fill of Thin Mints, Samoas, and the many other kinds of cookies.  This year, a girl scout, Taylor, has decided to push a campaign to boycott Girl Scout cookie sales because Girl Scout USA (GSUSA) allows transgender girls into their local chapters.  All of her reasons appear reasonable on the surface such as the safety of girls on overnight trips and the need for all female spaces.  However, her direction and intent are problematic, as she ignorantly assumes that the inclusion of transgender girls will decrease the Girl Scout’s ability to provide a safe space for their members.  Through watching the video, it is clear that Taylor has never been exposed to the idea that there is a difference between sex and gender presentation.  She expresses her discontent at GSUSA’s lack of a policy to require a proof of gender.  However, she doesn’t explore what this proof would look like and who would be in charge of checking it.  Many ‘gender-checking’ solutions could be extremely problematic.  Oftentimes these create a very small box for who qualifies as a girl and forces that decision to be made strictly by biological qualifications.

Let’s have some clarifying definitions before continuing on…
Sex: The biological body parts that are associated with either being male or female
Gender presentation: The way a person displays their actual or perceived gender—whether or not that gender is different from the gender identity traditionally assigned to them at birth based on their sex
Transgender: Umbrella term for people who transition from one gender to another or express themselves outside the gender binary system of male and female (can include changes in name or dress, hormone therapy, and/or surgery)
Cisgender: Individuals who have a match between the gender that was assigned at birth, their sex, and personal gender identity

Throughout the video, Taylor frequently referred to the “transgender boys” that GSUSA is allowing to join the chapters.  These individuals that Taylor is referring to, and who have fought hard to be in the Girl Scouts, are actually transgender girls.  GSUSA handbook reflects that any child K-12 who identifies as a girl and is presented as a girl by their family will be accepted into the Girl Scouts.  There will not be any gender test before being admitted.  Personally, I would like to applaud the GSUSA for having such a progressive policy regarding gender and allowing trans girls access to a safe female-only environment.

Transgender girls are not a danger to their cisgender-peers; they are not boys masquerading as girls in order to sneak into single-sex female groups.  They’re girls living the life with which they identify, despite their biological characteristics.  GSUSA creates a safe space for girls to develop their self-esteem and confidence and it should be available to all girls, regardless of sex at birth.  Other societal institutions and organizations should be more focused on how to be more inclusive of all gender identities so that youth are able to explore their gender identities in a healthy and supported way.

It takes an incredible amount of strength and courage for a trans-child and the family to present as their true gender.  There is backlash from neighbors, peers, friends, the school system and other organizations that the child or family may be a part of.  Taylor indicts transgender individuals as perpetrating violence against cisgender girls but in fact, it is often the transgender child who faces constant bullying, harassment, and assault because of their gender presentation.  It is precisely the attitudes and beliefs of their peers and society at large that enforce a narrow idea of what behaviors and appearances are allowed based on gender that lead to much more violence against transgender youth throughout middle and high school than their cisgender-peers.

• For transgender individuals, the median age of the first sexual abuse experience was 14-15 years of age. (National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women. 2009)
• Two-thirds of transgender students felt unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation (69%) and how they expressed their gender (65%) (GLSEN, 2009)
• 74% of transgender youth reported being sexually harassed at school, and 90% of transgender youth reported feeling unsafe at school because of their gender expression. (GLSEN. (2001)

In a recent article, one transgender girl, her twin brother, and parents had to move after they were verbally and physically harassed by other children at school.  For her protection, a teacher was assigned to watch her between classes which she found to be incredibly intrusive.  She was constantly excluded from activities and forced to be with the boys rather than the girls on school trips and during activities. 

Rejection, harassment, and bullying can be harmful to any child but the frequency and severity drastically increases when transgender youth are the target.  These acts of violence and constant encroachments on their safety and personal lives have serious consequences for transgender youth.  About 1/3 of transgender youth have attempted suicide as a result of the discrimination (Clements-Nolle, Marx, Katz. 2006). 

There has been an overwhelming outpouring of support for the GSUSA policy and for the transgender girls who have been brave enough to join the troops.  The amount of support is extremely encouraging and inspiring as it shows the growth and the number of transgender individuals and allies who are willing to speak out publicly against transphobic behaviors.  There is still more progress to be made, as the majority of stories about transgender individuals are often sparked from controversy over progressive and empowering policies, like the GSUSA’s, rather than regularly including them in news coverage.

So buy cookies this year in support and knowledge that GSUSA supports and allows ALL girls to join their troops.